Thursday, December 13, 2007

Brilliant Holiday Satire

Just in time for the holiday season, we have the theory of External Delivery.

What is External Delivery?

External delivery refers to a scientific research program as well as a community of older kids, teachers, and other adults who seek evidence of external sources of Christmas presents. The theory of external delivery holds that certain features of how Christmas presents are delivered each year are best explained by an external source, not an internal source such as your parents.

Through careful study and analysis, Sexternal delivery proponentsists are able to determine the distinct features of presents that don't come from our parents, such as those given by strangers, and then seek to find similar informational properties in Christmas presents. By applying this scientific method, older kids have identified many irrefutably external structures in Christmas presents.

It's so obvious that there must be an external deliverer putting presents under the tree. My parents said they didn't put the presents under the tree, and why would they lie about that kind of thing? They'd go to bed the same time I would, and there'd be presents under the tree when we woke up. It's just silly to think they woke up, sneaked out to the family room, and put all the presents under the tree.

I know it should go without saying, but External Delivery is not Santa Clausism; the two are completely different. I honestly don't know how anyone could possibly confuse the two.

Comics to go along with the site here and here; site being parodied here.


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