If there's a god, he's surely doing his damnedest to keep me depressed lately. There's too many fucked up/stupid people on this earth, and it depresses me to no end.
This particular funk started last night during a conversation with an old friend about an experience she had teaching preschool. She related a story of a girl unable to go to the bathroom because she'd been molested so much.
The first thing that ran through my head after hearing this was a wish that I didn't have to drive back to my parents' house, because hearing that made me want to drink myself into a stupor. My second thought was
there's no god. I think any shred of hope that I could ever believe in divine justice died after hearing that.
And I don't want to hear any anything about how it's man's sinful nature causing this and that God doesn't want it to happen or that it's somehow all part of God's mystical plan. You don't get to speak now. I'm in Pissed Off At The World mode; you're better off just letting me speak my peace. If you don't want to read a rant against a monotheistic, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent,
good god, stop reading now. Already I know this is going to end badly, but I need to vent.
No good can come from a girl being molested so much she can't use the bathroom. None. You can't give me any scenario where I'd say
yeah, it was OK to molest a preschool-aged girl so much she can't go to the bathroom. I don't care if a gun was pointed to someone's head or the universe was going to end; no, not acceptable.
You want to tell me it was part of some divine plan? No, not acceptable. Show me a plan that involves good coming from molesting small girls and I'll show you a plan which needed to be shredded, burned, and rewritten so it didn't involve the molestation of small girls.
What did this girl do to deserve being molested? How did your god decide that girl was going to be molested? Did he roll the dice? What fucked-up though process ran through his divine head which made him say
yep, she gets molested tonight. And he's supposed to be omnipresent, which means he watched this fucked up scenario unfold. How do you watch a young girl get molested over and over without doing something about it? Who among you would think it moral and just to watch a girl get molested and do nothing to stop it, especially if it was well within your power to do so? God's supposed to be able to step in and stop anything at any time; why could he have not stepped in and stopped this from happening? He intervened to cure your grandmother's cancer but he won't stop some asshole from raping a little girl. This is divine justice?
Oh, but he'll spend an eternity in Hell. Great, this is one of those times I would welcome the idea. If there's a Hell, I hope I see him there; I'll help the imps torture the bastard. But if wanting to do something and doing it are equivalent, couldn't god have just nailed him on wanting to molest young girls and prevented the guy from actually going through with it? Wouldn't that be just as good in the world of divine justice?
And the sad thing is, I'm sure this guy was molested when he was a little kid, by some asshole who was molested as a little kid, ad nauseam. So really the seeds of this
divine plan were planted years ago, when some asshole dad/cousin/uncle decided to molest their son/cousin/nephew. Now here we are reaping the fruits of this plan: a young girl whose constant molestation has left her in endless physical and/or emotional pain. This is the best plan an omniscient, omnipresent god could come up with? Jesus fucking Christ, how incompetent would you have to be for that to be your
And today I get a pamphlet from some idiots who accept geocentrism, throwing away 500 years of scientific progress and basing their entire view of the physical universe around some poetry written 5000 years ago, glorifying the above deity which apparently doesn't know enough to stop young girls from being molested. Here's a hint: not everything in that book should be taken literally. You know why there's talk of the sun rising and falling and stars singing and all that? It's because it sounds nice and because it fit as a literary device. Taking it literally'd be like me reading about fucking Paul Bunyan and basing my entire world view about there being people the size of fucking skyscrapers walking around with a goddamn blue ox. The pamphlet wants me to order their free book, and I'm going to order it because it's going to cost them money to print the book, process my order, and ship the book to me; so I'll be doing my part to bankrupt them. Seeing as how their website's been down since May, maybe someone's already done that for me.
Again, sorry if you, against my wishes, read this and were offended. In a week we can have a rational discussion about the nature of divine justice, and you can explain to me how god can let this happen and still be this great entity worthy of praise. Right now, not happening.