Saturday, February 17, 2007

Hail Satan! Apparently



















Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with

Wikipedia's discussion of Satanism is rather vague. The best description I could find was from wikipedia's discussion of the Satanic Bible, where it states:

LaVey then justifies Satanism as a religion by explaining that it is not merely a philosophy. He explains that one reason man has always had religion is because he has a need for dogma and ceremony; Satanism acknowledges this, and therefore supplies its adherents with dogma and ceremony in the form of magic and ritual. LaVey claims that it is precisely this trait that distinguishes Satanism from Humanism or other essentially atheistic philosophies, and makes it a true religion suited to man's carnal nature.

I'd say I don't know how it selected me as a Satanist, but I'd guess because the questions were vague. Some gems:

One should not follow any rule or commandmant (sic) without full belief and understanding of it.
A full understanding of a moral code is great if you can find it. Several thousand years after people started studying philosophy, we're still working on it, and I don't expect we'll have it all figured out anytime soon.
There should be no moral restrictions on diet or sexual activity whatsoever.
What does this mean? Is it asking me if it's moral to eat the homeless guy standing on the street corner? Or a baby? Have sex with the same? Or does it mean don't eat pork or shellfish, sex only if you're married, missionary only, and you're not supposed to like it? Vague.
All life organisms alive today were created through random processes.
Well, no, it wasn't all random. Natural selection's not a random process, though it does gain some level of randomness when its driven by random mutation. Can we please understand what we're talking about before we ask a question?
All adults should pray daily.
Well, people who claim you should should do so, as should they if they think they need to. Again, vague.
Evil as many religions see it does not exist; evil is just imbalance and human mistakes.
How to many religions see evil? Mistakes according to whom? Was what Stalin did a human mistake? For that matter, what is a human mistake?
The world would be so much better if there were no religion.
Well, maybe some of it would be better. People'd no longer do stupid/evil things in the name of their god, but I imagine they'd still do stupid/evil things in the name of their leader.
It is hard to decide what the truth is.
You don't decide what truth is. What's described here is closer to Wikiality than truth. Deciding truth assumes you get a say in saying if something's true or not. Doesn't really work this way.
I believe in a set of specific rules on how to live my life.
What does this mean? That they're from on high? That there is an objective morality and immorality but you don't necessarily know what it is?
Religion is naive and misinformed.
Well, there are naive and misinformed religions; but I don't think they all are. For example, the Universal Life Church (of which I am a minister) is not naive and misinformed. Scientology on the other hand, is.
Abortion is an abominable sin.
How is sin defined? Is it equivalent to immoral? Why didn't it just say immoral?
People are not inherently evil; they are just weak and have free will.
What does this mean? What is weak? Was Stalin weak?

Perhaps I'm just looking too much into a stupid web quiz, but still. Is it too much to ask for one that isn't vague?

And no, I'm not, nor have I ever been, a Satanist. Just thought I'd make that more obvious than it was already. And today's rant is brought to you by the number Jerry (yes, it's a number; it's halfway between eleventeen and forty-twelve).


Blogger staticfoo said...

Awesome. I didn't know that I was a number.

2/18/2007 3:07 PM  

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