So I just paid $5 a month for a subscription to a newspaper I won't read because the people selling me said paper amused my drunken ass.
First, the girl selling the paper knocked on my door exactly the way my mom does. Even though she's 300 miles away, I still half expected to see my mom at my door when I answered it this evening. Seriously, how many random people you don't know knock on your door to the tune of
shave and a haircut, two bits? Other than my mom and this girl, I've never had someone knock on my door like that.
So I answer the door and am greeted by someone who's the complete opposite of my mother: a high school-aged punk/goth girl along with a high school-aged guy standing out of my sight. I can't really say now what amused me, but something during their spiel entertained me enough that I decided to subscribe to a paper which I'll never read (I think it was something the guy said that made me laugh). So now I have a free copy of the San Diego Union Tribune and a receipt for my newspaper subscription with a note which reads
Enjoy being drunk! And I'm not ur mom! with a drawing of a heart on it.
Dr. Drew always talks about addiction being defined by its consequences. Clearly there are (and have been) consequences from my drinking (though not any consequences I would consider
really bad and requiring some sort of rehab or intervention). Maybe I'll start caring if there ever were a highly negative consequence to my drinking. Until then, I'll pretend I wanted to financially support a high school girl's college education (which I guess my drunken (and sober) ass did, but still, I'd have liked to benefit from that transaction a bit more than I did) and that being slightly drunk had nothing to do with it.
Though I guess in the end it makes for a decent story. And isn't that what life's about: having a decent story to tell? Almost makes me wish my life were a decent story.