Tuesday, September 20, 2005

A Bit Of The Past

After Katie's wedding, while a bunch of us were hanging out at Matt's, Victor reminded me of a discussion Katie, Victor, and myself had online about the Birds and the Bees story. It was a fairly random chat that I remembered was pretty funny, and it was certainly not the type of story that I was accustomed to Katie telling. Especially humorous was the fact that Katie's connection kept cutting out during key points of the story. I remembered to reread it this evening, and it was just as funny as I remembered. Below is the story in its entirety.

...
Katie:
so the bee was out buzzing around one day
Katie:
bzzzzzz (i'm making the sound right now)
Katie:
anyway
Katie:
he is looking for his wife (female bee)
Victor:
she hot ?
Katie:
she's pregnant and going to have little bees
Katie:
oh heck yeah
Victor:
nice!
Katie:
she's quite a honey ;) (pardon the pun(
Katie:
*)
Victor:
;)
Me:
i thought bees were polygamists
Katie:
well she is going to deposit the stuff
Katie:
:)
Katie:
and he's looking for her cause she's ready to "deposit"
Katie:
so he asks a bird if he's seen the female bee
Katie:
and the bird squacks and is like squack, yeah! squack (make the sound as you read it)
Katie:
and tells him that his wife got stung by a much larger bee
Katie:
and died =-O
Victor:
oof
Katie:
so he's very sad, as you can assume
Katie:
and the bird tries to comfort him
Katie left the room.
Victor:
right when it was getting good
Me:
NO1
...
Katie entered the room.
...
Katie:
so they're flying around together talking
Victor:
that dirty bird
Me:
how did they communicate
Katie:
and decide to go to the local animal bar
Katie:
to drown their sorrors
Katie:
*sorrows
Victor:
haha
Katie:
through buzzing and squaking
Katie:
and they're sharing a pint
Me:
what beer?
Katie:
and the bee starts to feel a little tipsy
Katie:
oh c'mon aaron
Katie:
dont play dumb
Katie:
;)
Victor:
it was corona
Katie:
umm
Me:
ok, good
Katie:
no
Victor:
honey = corona
Me:
right
Katie:
maybe shot glasses of vodka
Katie:
yeah thats better
Victor:
that crazy bird
Me:
a pint of vodka
Katie:
so they're drinking
Katie:
lol
Me:
they're hardcore
Katie:
thats a lot!
Katie:
so anyway
Katie:
they're both in the sharing mood
Katie:
and start to figure out how this whole kids thing works
Victor:
the bird wants to take the bee back to his nest doesnt he
Katie:
dont jump ahead of me!
Katie:
:)
Victor:
i knew it!
Katie:
ahh, but there's a switch in the story this time...
Katie:
nice try ;)
Katie:
well...ok
Katie:
we'll leave it at that
Katie:
the bird feels sorry for the bee
Katie:
and they get a little too close
Me:
uh oh
Katie:
and dance a little
Me:
bow chicka bow wow
Katie:
and then boom the bird is pregnant
Victor:
lol
Katie:
just like that
Me:
dance?
Me:
wtf?
Katie:
>within days they have a baby bird
Katie:
LOL
Victor:
the horizontal polka
Katie:
actually....
Katie left the room.
...
Katie entered the room.
Katie:
yay!!
Katie:
ok so they actually dont have a bird
Katie:
it's an imbreed
Me:
what's it called
Katie:
oh crap
Katie:
ummmm
Katie:
beird
Victor:
haha
Me:
haha
Katie:
but its middle name is vodka
Katie:
after the drink that got the bird pregnant
Me:
so is the moral of the story not to drink?
Katie:
exactly!
Me:
because if it is i don't like the story
Katie:
because you may end up in bed with an different species
Me:
well, that explains the goat last week
...

Now that I think about it, she kind of missed the whole point of the story, which was to explain sex (unless the Mennonites really do teach that dancing leads to pregnancy, in which case Katie's in for a big surprise when she wants to have kids). But anyways, I think you all can appreciate why I find the story so humorous.

2 Comments:

Blogger Luke said...

wow...that was...something. hopefully katie has a little better idea of what actually happens now.

the only question i have is wouldnt that stinger hurt like a mother?

9/21/2005 11:40 AM  
Blogger Aaron *@ said...

I hope so too. But if Ben happens to think the same thing about dancing and pregnancy, there may be problems

9/21/2005 9:31 PM  

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